


Ikigai

by swordofsunrise



Category: Fairy Tail, Naruto
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Crossover, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Rebirth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:21:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25577230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swordofsunrise/pseuds/swordofsunrise
Summary: Fairy Sphere had saved them from Acnologia's wrath but, at what cost? Chakra has replaced magic, the home they found in Fairy Tail is gone and Team Natsu is no more. Witness the core four as they learn the meaning of 'shinobi'. Sometimes different roads lead to the same castle. Will they find each other in this lifetime?
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	1. Erza

_"Part of love is to protect, with life and limb, with everything that you have, even your soul."_

* * *

Erza woke-up to a strange, foreign world. The ball of energy swirling inside her was even stranger. She knew how magic was supposed to feel like. Whatever she possessed now...was stronger. It would have been a comforting discovering, that one.

If not for the fact that hers, wasn't. Unlike the citizens of Fiore, here everyone had chakra. One couldn't exist without it and she was starting to understand why. Much like in the case of magic, every chakra was unique. Sure, there was a grey area. Different emotions caused one's chakra to react in a certain way.

By the age of four, Erza thought she had all of them memorized. And the small swirl of energy inside her that had seemed so useless at the beginning?

It grew. It was still growing, expanding...

She was in awe, to put it simply. Fairy Sphere saved her. Not in the way she had expected but, complaining about it would be fruitless. Had it also saved the others? Erza hoped so. She prayed. And cried. Sometimes both. She vowed to find them. Her nakama...must be alive.

They must.

She had been an orphan, fostered by Fairy Tail. To have so many relatives now, to have a clan, to have a blood family, was surreal. There were just so many people dotting on her. Erza wasn't used to it; being taken care of. The Uzumaki were lively people in more ways than one. Everywhere she looked, she spotted red hair. Blue eyes. Violet eyes. Laughter had a permanent home here. It was hard to be sad or even angry. Not when everyone's good mood was so contagious.

If asked, every child's response was the same. "I want to be a ninja when I grow-up!" and off they went, throwing blunt kunai and practicing what would have looked like martial arts if not for their lack of grace.

And speed.

_And_ proper sense of balance.

Erza herself had been proficient in a few styles though she didn't use them often. A sigh escaped her next. She missed sword-fighting. Her armors. And she definitely missed strawberry cake, but even more than that...

The Queen missed her fairies.

...

Her mother, Asami Uzumaki, was pregnant. She took those news in stride and vowed to make sure the baby would be safely delivered. It must have been quite the sight, a toddler following around her kaa-san not because she was a clingy child but to act as guard between her and any external forces. Erza didn't stay much with the other children during that time; too focused on being there. If anyone thought of her as odd, they dare not voice it.

Her tou-sama was not be trifled with.

"Akane-chan, go play with the others. You don't have to stay with me, dear." Asami tried convincing her, to no avail whatsoever.

Dying hadn't weakened Erza's will of steel. If anything, it was more durable than ever.

"Yes, I do." she argued and bit the inside of her cheek as not to elaborate. Four-year-olds weren't supposed to be eloquent or knowledgeable about pregnancies. "I want to." she added, a stubborn tilt to her lips.

Asami's stunningly violet eyes softened and bent low to kiss her forehead. Nothing could beat the kind of warmth that a mother's affection provided.

"Such a caring child." she murmured against the former mage's temple before letting out a sigh. "I'm touched but don't lie to me and say you aren't bored, Akane."

Erza opened her mouth only to close it. Lying was below her. But what could she say? Granted, childish games weren't very interesting. However, unlike the games from Earthland...those had practical purposes. Tag was for speed, hide and seek was for outside-the-box thinking; stealth, too. 'Ninja', the most popular one by far, was also the most complex.

There were no rules, either. Just organized chaos that she had yet to wrap her mind around. If older children were to be trusted, anything was fair game. 'Ninja make use of everything at their disposal.'

Her silence told Asami everything she needed to know.

"Very well. If you insist on staying by my side at all times, then I shall train you."

Erza nodded, eager to learn and make the older woman proud.

"The Uzumaki are special because we heal quicker than other people. We live longer and we rarely get sick." she paused. "Our stamina is our strength but the art of sealing is what we are feared and revered for."

Here, she tilted her head to a side.

"Sealing?"

Asami nodded, pulling out a scroll and a brush.

"Here, let me show you." she said before drawing a series of symbols.

Erza didn't understand them.

_An ancient language?_

Noticing her childlike confusion, the woman explained. "What makes our seals legendary is their complexity and how they require learning a dead language. Before we mingled with the other shinobi nations, we spoke and wrote a different language all together."

Erza bobbed her head up and down to signal she understood. Sealing reminded her of Levy's magic. Though the symbols were nothing alike, the mechanism was pretty similar.

"What does the seal do?" she asked, feeling how her mother's chakra left her body in small, controlled waves. Those waves merged with the ink.

Asami smiled.

"Put one of your toys there, Akane."

Erza took her wooden sword and did as told. She rose a confused eyebrow when nothing happened.

"Now try taking it."

The younger redhead did reached out to grasp the sword only for her hands to encounter a visible wall. She didn't insist, aware it wouldn't budge. Instead, she bowed her head.

"Please teach me, kaa-san."

* * *

A few days later, Erza was left feeling sourly disappointed. She stared at her tiny hands as though they had failed her greatly. What did that say about her, if she couldn't adapt, couldn't fit in with the rest? Magic had always come so easily to her. Upon discovery, it never left. She could always use it to defend herself and the ones she loved.

Of course there were limits to what four-year-olds were able to do but she couldn't help feeling frustrated. Never before had her progress been so slow.

_Is this how the others felt?_ She wondered, melancholy threatening to swallow her from the inside out.

Eyes downcast, she kicked a pebble, watching it roll and fall into the river.

_I...took my power for granted, didn't I?_

Her vision blurred, sadness clouding it. She was utterly ashamed. How could she have been so entitled?

_Worse still, I took Fairy Tail for granted. I thought my power alone would be enough to save them all. Always and without fail._

She was alive, yes, but victory was hollow if there was no one around to celebrate with her. Erza could go on believing her nakama were alive and waiting somewhere for her to come find them. Whatever things she chose to tell herself wouldn't change the cruel truth, however.

_I'm alone again._

She lost yet another family.

Tears rolled down her cheeks. Erza allowed them to fall, didn't fight the water that begged to make its exit. All she did, all she had been doing...was fighting. It was what she knew, what she was good at.

What good was a soldier without battles to fight?

What good was a knight without someone to rescue?

What was _a mage_ without _magic?_

Erza gripped her skirt. Whoever named her 'Titania' had been mistaken. Underneath the armor, she was human, just like the rest of them. Human, broken and _lost._

"Akane dear, your mother will be giving birth any minute now!"

The voice of her neighbor, Mrs. Takeshima startled her. Erza's jumbled thoughts stretched to a halt. She blinked, taking a moment to digest the information she had been given.

"Okaa-san...is giving birth?" she repeated, beating herself up over leaving the woman alone when she needed her the most.

"Hai, little one. Let's go to the hospital right now."

The elderly lady picked her up as though she weighted nothing and proceeded to run, astonishing Erza. The Uzumaki elders could be as energetic as the youngsters. It was truly amazing.

_She reminds me of Master._

Suddenly, there were tears in her eyes once more.

"I left her alone..."

"Oh, shush now, child. Don't blame yourself. Your mother is in good hands, you know. And she used to be quite the capable shinobi; still is. You don't quit being a warrior. It stays with you."

Erza wiped at her eyes. "It does?"

"Of course. The battles we face might change in nature, time isn't a straight line child and neither is life, for that matter. Life is a whirlpool, a never ending struggle. The world will always need warriors. And this I'll take to my grave: They are everywhere. Not all carry weapons but..." here, she smiled down at her. "...all are dragon-hearted."

Her lips formed a smile of their own. "Thank you, obaa-san." she whispered fiercely and hugged her.

"Maa, don't mention it. I don't want the other brats to think I'm soft. They'd be taking liberties with my cherry tree."

Titania nodded, thoroughly amused.

"Don't worry yourself, I know how to keep a secret." she assured the elderly.

Mrs. Takeshima lowered her down on the hospital floor and waved a finger.

"You better." Her expression softened then. "Go see your mother now."

Erza looked up at the doctor who gestured for her to follow him then back at the empty space where only moments before the old woman used to be.

She bowed at the waist.

_Thank you for restoring my faith, obaa-san._

Asami looked exhausted but she was glowing with happiness and beaming at her newborn baby. Erza lingered in the doorway, feeling nervous. As if sensing her inner conflict, the older redhead beckoned her closer.

"Come, Akane. Meet your baby sister." she exclaimed.

The enthusiasm was contagious. She inched closer, observing the small bundle of joy that just entered their lives.

_My...sister._

Erza's eyes widened when she felt tiny fingers grabbing her own.

"She is strong." she breathed out, awe filling her voice. "And so small."

Asami giggled.

"You were like that, too." she leaned down to kiss the top of her head, causing her cheeks to redden. "And look how much you have grown!"

_I was wrong before._ she realized.

"Can I hold her?" Erza asked eagerly.

_I'm not alone._

"Of course you can." her kaa-san replied. "Here, let me show you how. You need to support the head..."

The former Fairy Tail mage followed the instructions, being extra careful as not to hurt her baby sister.

Gentleness had never been her strong suit, after all.

"What's her name?"

Asami grinned.

"Kushina, Uzumaki Kushina."

Erza cradled the baby to her chest as though it was the most precious belonging she had.

_Kushina, arigatou._

_Arigatou, imouto._

She would protect her at all costs.


	2. Lucy

_"But what was fortune? She had come to believe it was being exactly the same on the inside as on the outside. What was misfortune but the quality of existing as something, or someone else, inside?" - Madeleine Thien_

* * *

Being a baby again was not fun, not fun at all. Disgusting aspects of her predictment aside, Lucy missed her old life. She missed being sixteen, tall and self-suficient. She missed her writing desk and the act of writing itself. She missed her closet and her spirits.

_Oh god, my spirits._

What happened to them? To Loke, Virgo, Aquarius...

_Right, the S-Class Exams._

A dreadful feeling engulfed her.

**_Acnologia._ **

From the moment she was capable of holding onto thoughts for longer than just a few minutes, Lucy bawled her eyes out day and night, driving not her parents, insane.

Who could blame her, really? She was a fucking baby again. She lost everything.

Everyone she loved...they were all gone and not coming back. She lost them to a dragon. A fucking dragon. How was that fair? She was homeless again. Alone. The closest people to her, died...Master, Mira-chan, Cana, Erza and Gray and Natsu...

_Oh my god, Natsu_

Her heart broke.

_I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't even be alive._

_I SHOULD HAVE DIED WITH THEM AND STAYED DEAD._

On the days she wasn't crying, having taken pity on not her parents or maybe her tearducts were dry (it was anyone's guess, really)...Lucy felt it.

 _Something_ was inside her. Something that she couldn't put into words. Not that she cared enough to find out.

Whatever it was, it couldn't possibly be better than magic.

She wanted hers back, dammit.

Maybe if she found someone who had magic in this land...she could return to Fiore before it all went to hell. She'd make sure no one stepped a foot on Tenrou Island. She'd hunt down Grimoire Heart and kill Hades herself. The delay in their exams had happened because of him.

If not for that, perhaps they would have left the island before Acnologia's arrival.

That small glimmer of hope flickered away just as quickly as it had reached her, however.

 _Ha, right._ she internally scoffed. _As if a military state would let me, a child born into the Yamanaka clan which seems to be a huge deal, get up and waltz out of here._

And just like that, Lucy cried again, prompting not-her-parents to do everything under the sun, if only they'd manage to appease her.

Food wasn't working. Unless her tiny body screamed at her to just eat already, do you wanna die again and end up somewhere worse?, she didn't. Singing grated on her nerves and baby talk only served to annoy her further. Walks reminded her of what she no longer had while toys insulted her intelligence.

Later she'd look back on those times and feel a huge amount of respect. Not-her-parents were really patient people.

And highly trained killers, apparently.

* * *

Growing-up, it used to be just her, her and the many butlers and maids in care of the Heartfilia Estate. After her mother's passing, she often entertained the idea of having a sister. She imagined it'd make the pain easier. Yes, Lucy had thought to herself. She wouldn't feel lonely if she had a sibling, if she had someone to play with, talk to...

Alas, those were just fantasies her brain made up; a coping method of sorts. Aquarius couldn't have stayed with her 7/24 and even if she could have...it just wouldn't feel the same.

Not that Lucy wasn't grateful or anything. She really was. Aquarius had been a solid rock in times of need, a beacon of hope in her gloomy childhood. She valued her immensly, and though she'd be reluctant to admit it...

_I miss her terribly, too._

She missed all of her spirits and drove herself nuts wondering where they were. She hadn't tried to summon them, convinced the laws of the world she ended up in wouldn't allow it.

Were contracts even available between realms?

Lucy didn't know and frankly, she was too scared to find out. At least this way, she could pretend there was a chance their bond hadn't been completely severed. If she reached out to her spirits and they didn't reach back...

Well, she'd have no more reasons to keep living. The loss of her nakama had already taken its tool on her. Lucy doubted she'd be able to take another blow. No, not now, not so soon.

 _Wait a few more years._ she told herself. _Time passes differently in the spirit world. To them, if they are still within reach...will feel like just a second._

It was a horrible game plan, but she couldn't think of anything else. Logically speaking, she knew the next course of action should be finding an anchor, someone other than her spirits.

Easier said than done, though. Not-her-parents were out of the question. Not because she feared them in any way, shape or form, but because their occupation was highly dangerous.

_"Most ninja don't live to see thirty."_

She couldn't remember who said those words. And it didn't matter. The rest of her clan members...had no interest in her whatsoever. They had their own direct family to look after. The only time they paid her attention was during birthdays.

Lucy wasn't the Yamanaka heiress, but she was the clanhead's other child which made her semi-important.

Sort of.

Her new life wasn't so different from what she was accustomed to.

She was still rich, still a member of high society and...still expected to marry for political reasons. The only difference?

Lucy wasn't sheltered this time around. The world she ended up in bred warriors. There was pressure on clan children to become killing machines. The sooner, the better. More than that, it was expected of them. As for the children? They took pride in every step that brought them closer to the shinobi path.

At first, she thought the spotlight would be solely on her older brother. That delusion was ripped to shreds quickly enough.

Her training begun early...and it was _brutal._ Just her luck, to be born as the daughter of a madman. And if the rumors were to be trusted, her father was the strictest Yamanaka clanhead in history. Whatever patience he had for her as a baby ended the day she turned two.

Lucy's only comfort came in the form of Inoichi. Her brother was eight now and a little more used to the harsh training regime.

In his arms, crying after yet another spar...she really felt like a little girl again.

"Nii-san..." she sniffed, burying her face in his shoulder. He was always warm, and steady and very in tune with her emotions. "Why does tou-sama do it?"

The question had been standing at the tip of her tongue, begging for release. And what better person to ask than her older brother, who seemed to have made peace with their circumstances?

_Is he trying to kill us? Does he want us to break?_

Lucy wanted to scream. Instead, she wailed louder and clung to him fiercely.

"Iie, imouto." Inoichi sighed, running a hand through her blonde locks. "He is doing this to make us strong."

Great.

Now her brother didn't make any sense either.

"But I don't feel strong." she protested. Quite the opposite. Never before had Lucy felt more powerless, more defeated. She should have never had to go through the helplessess that came with being a child, not again. 

Inoichi gripped her shoulders so, they'd face each other. "You will one day. Trust me."

Was it her he trusted to pull through or was it their father's methods?

"Do _you_ , feel strong?" Lucy asked, wiping at her eyes furiously.

He was quiet for a long moment.

"No, but I'm starting to." his eyes flickered to her bruises then and suddenly she found herself being pulled up on her feet. "Come, let's go inside."

She nodded slowly.

* * *

Lucy envied the Nara clan. Well, mostly Shikaku. He was lazy, crazy smart and her brother's best friend. Nothing fazed him. The Nara were valued for their brains and though they were expected to undergo rigurous training regimes themselves...the clanhead never pushed his child to the breaking point.

He was calm, easy-going...

Yes, Lucy was very envious of Shikaku who slept and watched clouds more than he did anything else. 

The Yamanaka ruled the mind, the conscious, the subconscious...given time and proper training, she could become one of the most feared people in the Land of Fire, maybe the world. Their jutsu required intelligence, of course, but it highly depended on will. Whose mind was stronger? Whose character was fiercer?

Techinque wouldn't get you very far, not unless you were mentally powerful.

She could understand her father's reasoning now. The harsh treatment wasn't so much meant for their bodies, as it was meant for their minds. Nothing could break her, not unless she let it.

Her mind was her safe place, her sanctuary. If she was strong there...she was strong anywhere.

You only feel pain if you let yourself feel it.

In retrospect, the Yamanaka jutsu and magic both relied on will. She would no longer recieve support from her spirits, however...but from her teammates instead.

Konohagakure worked with three-men cells...at least until one became strong enough to stand without the other two. Even then, numbers mattered. A mission's rank dictated how many people would be needed.

As a Fairy Tail mage, you had full reign over who you'd be teaming up with. Some guild members, like Gildartes, worked alone. The ninja system left you no such choice. You couldn't pick your missions, either. The Hokage's word was law. If he asked you to jump, your answer ought to be 'How high?'

Those limitations left a sour taste inside her mouth. Lucy hated this strange, foreign world.

It was fucked-up.

She scrunched up her nose when Inoichi told her she was expected to enroll at the Ninja Academy next month. Lucy wondered what would happen if she went against her father's wishes.

Would the clan disown her?

She bit her lip as she wrapped a bandage around her wounded knee.

Would that be so tragic?

She'd be free, after all. Free of all obligations, free of the chains that bound her to people she felt no connection to whatsoever.

Inoichi, perceptive as he was, must have seen right through her because his dark green eyes widened a fraction. "No." he said firmly.

It struck Lucy just how mature he sounded for his age. Her gaze fell onto the ninja headband he had been carrying around for a few weeks now.

He was a ninja, he was the older sibling, _the heir._ Why couldn't _she,_ make her own choices?

"I don't want to go to the Academy." she met his eyes.

Inoichi was silent for once.

"I don't want to murder people in their beds. I don't want to assassinate children and go to war..." here, he interrupted her. "The war ended right before your birth."

Lucy refused to back down.

"How long until another one starts?"

Her brother looked down at his feet. That was all the confirmation she needed.

"Since tou-sama cannot be reasoned with...I will talk to the Hokage."

_The old geezer calls the shots around here, doesn't he?_

Inoichi sprang to his feet as though the ground had burned him. He caught her hands in his. "Imouto, please. You are only six, Hokage-sama won't even..."

Lucy's eyes hardened. "Won't even what? Listen to me?" she drew backwards, detaching herself from his gentle grip. "If I am old enough to become a killer, then I must be old enough to talk to our leader."


	3. Gray

_"I simply wondered about the dead because their days had ended and I did not know how I would get through mine." - James Baldwin_

* * *

Gray was living a nightmare.

The worst thing that could have possibly happened, just _did._ More than that, it came with added bonuses, just in case he dared getting _somehow_ comfortable.

Fairy Sphere had saved him.

Sort of. He'd rather be dead _dead_ than reduced to toddler proportions, reborn as someone else and stuck in a world that wasn't, would never be _his._ Some days, Gray did nothing whatsoever, throughly convinced that he had finally cracked, become insane.

_It's the trauma. He'd reason in a_ desperate attempt to make sense of his surroundings and the people who called him ' _son.'_ His parents were gone, killed by Deliora. The people that fed and clothed him now were real in his imagination only.

Though why his imagination had chosen to wipe out the guild and everyone in it remained somehow of a mystery.

Or not.

It was easier for Gray to accept his insanity than it was to accept his death _and_ rebirth, though. It was easier to imagine Natsu, Lucy and Erza on the other side of the door, waiting for Wendy to work her magic and gather his scattered braincells.

The overhelming current of energy inside him was real enough to make him uncomfortable, restless. As a mage, he had never felt this jumpy, had never felt this scorching need to just _move._

Now, though? Now, he felt like Natsu on sugarcanes. Or Cana, back when Macao had decided to play a prank on the brunette and replace her barrel of beer with energy drinks.

The memory made him shudder. Gray had been self-appointed with damage control.

Why?

Because Cana was his friend and friends took care of each other, dammit. And...he really didn't want to be on the recieving end of her father's wrath. Never mind how it had been Macao's fault. The entire guild would have shouldered the blame. Less out of loyalty and more because Glidartes didn't take any prisoners. His daughter got hurt?

Everyone was responsible. Simple as that.

The thing that currently resided inside him was called 'chakra', he'd come to learn two years later. By that time, he ought to have gotten used to it.

Yeah, _not._

So, Gray did what he was good at: experiments. He had twisted and bent ice in various forms since young; never satisfied, always willing to push himself to his limits, to see exactly what ice could do, what _he,_ could do with it given the chance. It was a stubborness that had come to serve him well in later years.

If he was stuck with this chakra thingy, why not poke around and make it his strength instead of letting it be a major discomfort for the rest of his miserable life?

Chakra, Gray had learned, was energy. Energy that kept you alive. No chakra meant death. No magic meant a normal, uneventful life. Unless you were a mage, of course, in which case no magic could also mean death, depending on one's circumstances. Someone didn't just run out of magic.

They were pushed to that point.

A two-year-old, it must be said, had very little chakra. It took fainting, worried 'parents' and a trip to the hospital for him to realize that while he could train his magic to the breaking point, doing the same thing, but with chakra was out of the question. Sure, he had suicidal tendencies that losing everyone he ever gave a damn about had ony worsened, but...

He didn't feel like starting over for a third time. Who knows where he'd end up next. Assuming that one actually had more lives at their disposal and this wasn't just some escape route courtesy of Fairy Sphere.

Chakra had the potential for growth and though 'his parents' weren't happy with the stunt he had pulled... They didn't tell him to stop, just to be careful while he was at it.

Gray thought he could work with that.

He was roughly three years old by the time molding chakra had become second nature to him. It resembled a rubber band. One that he could stretch and pull on a daily basis... _within limit_ s, of course.

He had just never imagined himself walking the _walls_ of his bedroom. Gray was still learning what this strange world of shinobi represented, true. However...

He frowned as he looked up at the ceiling. Not to say his earlier actions hadn't tired him out enough to lay sprawled all over the carpet.

That wasn't the point.

Walking on walls should have killed him at worst. At best, it ought to have remained some sort of delusion. A childish one. Gray was a teenager in mind, almost an adult. No longer the eight year old twat who ran around, pulling Erza's metaphorical pigtails and calling himself 'The Great Gray.'

Upon witnessing his newly aquired skill, his mother had gasped, then frowned. Clearly unhappy with the development. Was she surprised? Certainly. But not shocked, not truly.

In her words, he was 'too young' for it. Chakra control of that magnitude was supposed to come _later._ Gray didn't know how he felt about those news. Relieved that he wasn't an anomaly or disappointed that most children of shinobi families were _eventually_ capable of such feat?

His tou-sama's reaction had been entirely different. Gray had never seen the man crack a smile before. It was either a perpetual scowl, glare or coldness that put even his finest ice, to shame.

Most of his clansmen didn't smile, come to think of it. So, he thought he must have done something right to warrant such rare event.

Little did he know that was the start of something. Something that would restore his old self...but murder almost everything he had ever stood for.  
.  
.  
.  
The kimono his mother had wrestled him into was loose, yet tight enough to remind him of today afternoon meal's importance. Gray glared hotly at his reflexion. The dressed up brat wasn't him. He was no aristocrat. The clothes looked wrong. Too ancient. Too proper.

His hair was the only thing left unruly about his person. The only proof Gray Fullbuster had even existed to begin with. His mother had tried bending it to her will, but to no avail. The hair stuck out, proud in a way he didn't feel.

There was a God.

And it hadn't forsaken him yet.

It was jarring how much he looked like himself and yet, didn't. His eyes were dark still, his hair had the same midnight blue tint to it as ever. Even his face, though slightly off...made him recall silly adventures, learning alongsides Lyon...

Gray made his hand a fist.

_Let's get this over with._

He schooled his features, praying he wouldn't glare at the wrong people (meaning pretty much everyone) and marched out of his room like the weight of expectations placed upon his shoulders didn't make him want to puke.

"You look lovely, sweetheart." his kaa-san gushed, delicate fingertips brushing over the material of the dark blue kimono she had chosen for the occassion as though making sure there wasn't even a speck of dust on it.

Gray blushed, still not used to the attention and being dotted upon.

She tried fixing the mess that was his hair next, failing as spectacularly as she did the first time. Then she pouted with a resigned huff.

"You too." he didn't know what had compelled him to return the compliment, but it was the truth. Unlike him, his mother wore her nobility well.

Emiko bent low and kissed his forehead, the unexpected gesture warming Gray on the inside. Then she squezzed him into a hug that made him wonder whether they were saying goodbye to each other. And not just any kind of goodbye, but the forever one.

Which was ridiculous.

He might be biased. He remembered little of his real mother's affection, after all. Ul's hit closer to home, though not by much.

Gray had been a little piece of shit back then, pushing her away most of the time. He wondered if that's how every hug from her would have felt like, had he allowed himself to welcome the maternal love she had so graciously offered. Ul had been a mother to him in all the ways that counted, sans biological.

Shared genes didn't equal parental love. He knew that now.

Gray pressed himself closer to the woman that was his mother in this lifetime, suddenly aware there were only so many chances he'd be gifted with.

"This is unfair." Emiko whispered, more so to herself than him.

And though he had not the slightest clue as to what she was talking about, Gray agreed.

_It's unfair._

Lunch had helped put things into perspective. Sort of. He felt there was more; worse things attached to what he had already understood, but he had no idea how much worse exactly; didn't know of everything that awaited him.

Maybe there weren't any gods, after all. No kind ones, at any rate.

The meeting between his parents and the clanhead's family was, simply put, a disaster. He had met his fair share of initimidating people, but none came close to the man he had fallen into a respectful bow upon sight.

Gray hated him.

Not for the fate he had doomed him to, not for the way he had analyzed him from head to toe and nodded as though Gray was nothing but a pawn in the grand scheme of things, one meant to serve the clan, to serve him until his dying breath and beyond if possible.

No. He didn't hate that easily.

But causing his mother, a woman, to cry? There was a special place reserved in hell for men who made women cry on purpose.

When the clanhead and his father had exchanged words of agreement, about how he was to start his shinobi training seriously, enroll at The Ninja Academy and change ranks as easily as one changed socks; the younger, the better...

Gray had seen firsthand the seemingly spineless woman that was his mother resemble Ul in her fierceness to shield him from the merciless world, to preserve his childhood.

"MY SON WILL NOT BE SENT TO SLAUGHTER. HE WILL NOT BECOME A KILLING MACHINE."

You could have heard a pine drop in the silence that followed her statement. The silence didn't last long, however.

Nothing good ever did.

"It's not your call to make, Emiko. Tadashi is a prodigy of the Uchiha clan first and your child, second." There was steel in the clanhead's voice if he had ever heard it.

And his mother rose to mirror it, standing up and slamming her hands on the table.

"You already have a son, Uchiha-sama." she spoke through gritted teeth, eyes momentarily glancing at the young heir no older than Gray himself. "Allow me to keep mine from the grave."

Not to be outdone, Daisuke left his seat at the table, staring her down. "Foolish woman. You can't hide him behind your skirt forever. I am allowing nothing. He will do his duty, as will you."

Emiko shook her head. "Tadashi doesn't have the Sharingan."

The clanhead's eyes hardened. "Not yet."

And that was the end of the most awful dinner Gray had ever had.

* * *

There were ways of getting back at someone. And then there were his parents, who had somehow decided to concieve a second child. It was simple math. Hell, he might have let that hurt him if not for the fact that he possessed the mind of a semi-functional adult.

Thus, Gray understood what gaining a sibling actually meant. It wasn't because he was lacking. His imouto wasn't meant to replace him, but to complete the family picture. And, should he die early, make the pain a little more bearable.

He hadn't known it was possible to start loving someone upon sight.

Mikoto was his reason to live now. Gray wasn't a hopeful, optimistic guy. Quite the opposite. He wasn't religious by any means, either. But looking down at his baby sister sleeping peacefully inside her crib definitely made him feel grateful and thank whatever omnipotent being there was.

Oh, he still cursed the damn entity most days. Losing Fairy Tail had torn apart his insides, leaving behind a hole nothing and no one could ever hope to fill.

But it was something. And Gray was done pushing people away only to mourn their losses later.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
